Half-time. Your U10s are losing 3-0. They're heads-down, quiet, some of them looking at their parents on the touchline. You've got about 90 seconds before the ref blows the whistle.
What you say next matters more than you think.
Most of us default to instructions. "Push up higher." "Stop giving the ball away." "You need to close down quicker." And those points might be technically correct. But right now, your players don't need a tactical briefing. They need someone to tell them it's OK.
How you give feedback — the words, the timing, the tone — has a bigger impact on player development than almost anything else you do as a grassroots coach. Get it right and you build kids who want to try, fail, and try again. Get it wrong and you build kids who hide.
Why most coaching feedback doesn't work
Think about the last time you shouted a correction during a game. "Pass it earlier!" or "Don't just stand there!" Did the player actually change what they did? Probably not.
There are two reasons for this. First, in-game instructions are processed as noise by most kids under 12. They're focused on the ball, their surroundings, the opponent — your voice from 30 metres away is just background. They hear the tone, not the words.
Second, correction-based feedback — "don't do X" — tells a player what went wrong without giving them a picture of what right looks like. "Stop hogging the ball" is criticism. "See if you can find a teammate with your first touch" is coaching. Same issue, completely different impact.
The 2:1 rule
If you take one thing from this article, make it this: for every improvement point you give a young player, give them two positives first.
Not fake positives. Not "well done for turning up." Genuine, specific things they did well.
"Your first touch was brilliant in that last drill — you controlled it and moved forward every time. And I loved that you tried the turn even though it didn't come off. One thing to try next time: have a quick look over your shoulder before the ball arrives."
That took about 10 seconds. The player heard two things they're doing right, one thing to work on, and — crucially — they're more likely to actually try the improvement because they're not feeling defensive.
This isn't about being soft. It's about being effective. Research on youth coaching consistently shows that players who receive more positive feedback develop faster, stay in the game longer, and are more willing to attempt new skills. It's not opinion — it's evidence.
Timing changes everything
The best feedback in the world is useless if the timing is wrong.
During a game: Keep it minimal. Short, positive encouragements. "Great press!" "Brilliant pass!" Save corrections for training. Kids can't process tactical feedback while they're playing — their brains are already at full capacity.
Immediately after a game: Not the time for detailed feedback either. Emotions are high. If you've won, they won't listen. If you've lost, anything critical will feel like blame. Keep it to one or two squad-level positives and move on.
During training: This is your window. Specifically, during natural breaks — after a drink stop, between activities, during a brief pause in a game. Pull a player aside, keep it private, use the 2:1 structure. Thirty seconds is enough.
Away from the pitch: The most powerful feedback sometimes happens off the field. A quick text to a parent saying "just wanted to let you know that Ellie was brilliant tonight — her confidence is really growing" takes 20 seconds and can change a kid's week.
Make it specific
"Well done" is nice but meaningless. "You looked up three times before you received the ball — that's exactly what we've been working on" tells the player exactly what they did right and why it matters.
Specificity does two things. It proves you were actually watching (kids know when you're giving generic praise). And it tells the player what to repeat. If they just hear "well done," they don't know what to do again. If they hear "your pass into the space behind the defender was perfect," they'll try it again next time.
Same goes for improvements. "You need to be better" is useless. "Try to check your shoulder before you receive — it'll give you an extra second to decide what to do" is actionable.
The quiet players need different feedback
Not every kid responds the same way. The loud, confident ones can usually handle direct feedback in front of the group. They might even thrive on it.
But the quiet ones? Public feedback — even positive — can be excruciating. They don't want the spotlight. They want to be left alone to figure things out.
For these players, private, one-to-one feedback works best. A quiet word during a water break. A nod and a thumbs up from across the pitch. A message to their parent after the session. It still registers. It just doesn't come with the audience.
Learning to read which players need which approach is one of the most underrated coaching skills. And it's something that gets better with time and attention.
What to do when they're struggling
Every player has bad sessions. The ones that test you as a coach are the sessions where a kid is clearly having a terrible time — losing the ball, making mistakes, getting frustrated.
Your instinct might be to give them more coaching points. Fix the problem. But often, the best thing you can do is reduce the pressure.
Move them into a smaller group where they'll get more touches. Change the drill to something they're comfortable with. Or just leave them alone for a few minutes and let them find their rhythm.
When things settle, that's when you go over. "Tough start, but you stuck with it. That last pass was class." You're acknowledging the struggle without dwelling on it, and finishing with something positive. That builds resilience more than any motivational speech.
Building a feedback culture
If you're tracking player development — and this is where tools like InsideFooty really help — you can build feedback into a proper routine. After each session, you log two positives and one improvement area per player. It takes a couple of minutes. Over a season, you've built a detailed picture of every player's development that's based on consistent, structured observation.
That record isn't just useful for you. It's useful for parents, for the player, and for any coach who takes over the team in future. It turns feedback from something you do off the cuff into something deliberate and trackable.
The real test
Here's how you know your feedback approach is working: watch what happens when a player makes a mistake.
If they look at you first — checking your reaction — your feedback culture needs work. They're playing for your approval, not for themselves.
If they don't look at you — if they just get on with it, try again, maybe even smile at the mistake — you've built something good. They trust that mistakes are OK. They're free to play.
That's the goal. Not perfect players. Brave ones.