You pull a player aside after a drill. You've got three things you want to say. Two positives and one area to improve. What order do you say them in?
If you lead with the improvement — "you need to get your head up before you pass" — something happens in the player's brain. The shutters come down. They hear criticism. Everything you say after that, even the positives, gets filtered through "the coach thinks I'm doing something wrong."
But if you lead with the positives? Completely different story. The player relaxes. They feel good. They're open. And when the improvement point comes at the end, they actually hear it — because they're not in defensive mode.
That's the praise-first approach in a nutshell. Two positives, then one improvement. It sounds simple. It's backed by decades of research. And it works better than any other feedback method in youth sport.
Why leading with positives changes the brain
This isn't touchy-feely nonsense. There's actual neuroscience behind it.
When a young person receives positive feedback, their brain releases dopamine. That's the "reward" chemical. It creates a feeling of pleasure and motivation. Critically, it also makes the brain more receptive to new information.
When they receive negative feedback first, the brain triggers a stress response. Cortisol goes up. The prefrontal cortex — the part that handles learning and decision-making — becomes less active. The player is literally less capable of processing your coaching point because their brain is in defensive mode.
So by leading with two positives, you're not just being nice. You're chemically priming the player's brain to absorb the improvement point that comes next. The order of your words directly affects how much the player learns.
What "good" positives look like
Not all praise is equal. "Well done" is better than nothing, but it's not doing much heavy lifting. The best positives are specific, genuine, and tied to something the player actually did.
Compare these:
Weak: "Good work today." (Vague. The player doesn't know what was good.)
Better: "Your passing was good today." (More specific, but still quite broad.)
Best: "That pass you played into Jake's feet when you had a defender on you — that was brilliant. You picked the right option under pressure." (Specific action, specific context, specific skill. The player knows exactly what to repeat.)
The more specific your positives, the more impact they have. The player feels genuinely seen — not like they're getting a generic pat on the back.
And here's the key: the positives have to be real. Kids can smell fake praise from a mile away. If you tell a player their first touch was great when it clearly wasn't, they'll stop trusting your feedback entirely. Find something genuine. There's always something.
The improvement point
After two positives, you've earned the right to give one improvement. Just one. Not three. Not a list.
The improvement should be:
Actionable. Something they can actually try in the next five minutes. "Get your head up before you receive" is actionable. "Be more aware" is not.
Forward-looking. Frame it as "next time, try..." rather than "you should have..." The first is coaching. The second is criticism.
Connected to the positives. If possible, link the improvement to what they're already doing well. "You're great at receiving the ball — the next step is to check your shoulder first so you know what's around you before it arrives." The improvement feels like a natural progression, not a separate problem.
How to build it into your routine
The praise-first approach works best when it's consistent. Not just when you remember. Every interaction with every player.
Some coaches build it into their post-session routine. They spend 30 seconds with each player as they're packing up:
"Brilliant effort today. I noticed you were using your left foot more in the game — that's exactly what we've been working on. [Positive 1 and 2.] Next session, try to check over your shoulder before you receive. If you can do that, you'll have so much more time on the ball. [Improvement.]"
Thirty seconds per player. For a squad of 15, that's less than 8 minutes. And it's probably the most impactful 8 minutes of your entire coaching week.
It works for squad feedback too
The praise-first approach isn't just for individual conversations. It works beautifully for team talks.
End of session. Bring the group together. Two squad-level positives — "the intensity was brilliant tonight" and "I saw so much more communication than last week" — followed by one thing to work on as a group: "Next week we're going to focus on what we do when we don't have the ball."
Same structure. Same effect. The squad leaves on a high, with one clear thing to think about before next time.
What about the kid who's struggling?
Here's where it gets harder. What about the player who's had a genuinely bad session? Where everything went wrong and you're struggling to find positives?
Find effort-based positives. Even in the worst session, you can usually find:
"You didn't give up — even when things weren't going your way, you kept trying." That's a legitimate positive. Effort is a choice. Recognise it.
"You came back and helped defend when we lost the ball — that shows real team spirit." Again, effort and attitude. These matter as much as technical skill at youth level.
"I saw you encouraging your teammates after they made a mistake. That's leadership." Social skills count. Especially for kids who are having a rough time technically.
The improvement point for these sessions can be gentle: "One thing to focus on next week — try to play your passes a bit earlier. You'll find you've got more time and space."
The kid leaves knowing the coach noticed them, valued their effort, and gave them something concrete to try next time. That's coaching.
Making it trackable
One of the challenges with the praise-first approach is remembering what you've said to each player and tracking whether they're acting on improvement points over time.
This is where having a system helps. InsideFooty builds the praise-first approach directly into the player feedback workflow — coaches log positives and one improvement area per session, and it builds into a development record over time. It means your feedback isn't just a moment at the end of training — it's part of a documented progression that you, the player, and their parents can all see.
The long-term effect
Use the praise-first approach consistently for a season and watch what happens. Players start to seek feedback instead of avoiding it. They ask "what should I work on?" instead of walking away with their head down. They associate the coach with encouragement, not criticism.
And the improvement points? They stick. Because they're delivered in a way that the brain can actually process and act on.
Two positives. One improvement. Every time. It takes ten seconds longer than just telling a kid what they did wrong.
Those ten seconds change everything.