Your child's grassroots football coach wants to tell you something. Actually, they want to tell you several things. But they're worried about how it'll land, or they don't want to create drama, or they're just too knackered after running a session in the rain to have the conversation.
So here it is. The stuff most coaches think but rarely say out loud.
We're volunteers
This one first, because it colours everything else. The vast majority of grassroots coaches are not paid. They're parents who put their hand up when nobody else did. They give up evenings, weekends, and bank holidays. They pay for their own coaching courses. They spend Sunday afternoons washing bibs.
They do it because they love football and they want to give kids a good experience. Not because they're qualified sports scientists or Premier League scouts.
When you send a text at 10pm asking why your child was subbed off, or you question a training drill on the WhatsApp group, or you complain that the team lost — remember who you're talking to. It's someone who's giving their time for free so your child has somewhere to play.
Your child is not being scouted
At U8, U9, U10 — and honestly, probably older than that — nobody is being scouted based on their grassroots football performance. The pressure to "make it" at age seven is entirely parent-driven. Your child doesn't feel it until you project it onto them.
The purpose of grassroots football is development, socialisation, fitness, and fun. In that order. If your child is enjoying it, making friends, and getting better — that's a successful season. Regardless of the score.
We notice your touchline behaviour
Coaches hear everything from the sideline. The sighing when your child makes a mistake. The instructions that contradict what the coach just said. The eye-rolling when a weaker player gets subbed on.
Kids hear it too. And they respond to it far more than they respond to anything the coach says in training. If you're frustrated on the touchline, your child feels it. It makes them anxious, less willing to take risks, and more focused on avoiding mistakes than trying new things.
The single most helpful thing you can do on a match day is clap, encourage, and say "well played" at the end. That's it. Everything else is noise.
Equal playing time matters
"But my kid is better than theirs — why do they get the same amount of time?"
Because at this age, development matters more than winning. Every child in the squad deserves the chance to play, make mistakes, and improve. If only the "best" kids play, the others stop developing, lose confidence, and eventually leave.
And here's the thing: the "best" kids at U8 are often just the biggest or most physically mature. They're not necessarily the most talented. Giving equal time to everyone — including the kid who's smaller, shyer, or less coordinated right now — is how you find out who they'll become in three years.
Your coach knows this. Trust them on it.
We can't develop your child alone
Training is once or twice a week. Maybe 90 minutes total. A match at the weekend is another hour. That's roughly three hours of football per week.
What happens in the other 165 hours matters too. Not in a "you must practise every day" way — nobody needs a seven-year-old doing extra sessions. But in a general sense: active children who play in the garden, kick a ball against a wall, ride bikes, climb trees, and move their bodies develop faster than children who spend every non-football hour on a screen.
You don't need to be a coach at home. Just create an environment where your child wants to move.
Feedback is welcome — but timing matters
Good coaches want to hear from parents. If your child is unhappy, struggling, or has something going on outside of football that's affecting them, tell the coach. That information helps.
But the time to have that conversation is not immediately after a match. Not on the sideline in front of other parents. And definitely not on a group WhatsApp.
A private message during the week, or a quiet word before a session, works perfectly. "Just wanted to let you know that Emma's been a bit anxious about matches lately — she's putting a lot of pressure on herself." That kind of information is gold for a coach. It changes how they interact with that player.
The car journey home matters more than you think
Research consistently shows that the most damaging part of a child's football experience isn't what happens on the pitch. It's what happens in the car afterwards.
"Why didn't you pass?" "You didn't even try." "The other team's striker was much better than you."
These conversations destroy confidence. The child learns that football comes with a post-match evaluation from the person whose opinion matters most to them. They start playing safe. They stop enjoying it.
The best car journey conversation? "Did you have fun?" and "I loved watching you play."
That's what your child's coach wishes you'd say.
What we actually want from you
We want you to drop your child off, cheer from the sideline, and pick them up with a smile. We want you to tell your child you're proud of them regardless of the result. We want you to trust the process, even when it's slow and messy.
If you want to understand more about how your child is developing, ask the coach. Better yet, if your child's club uses a development tool like InsideFooty, you can see their progress across the Four Corners — confidence, technique, communication, fitness — tracked over time. It gives you something positive to talk about in that car journey home.
We're on the same team. Your child's team. Let's keep it that way.